


The 5 Truths & 1 Dare That Led to the Inevitable Outing of 3 "Secret" Couples.

by LethanWolf



Category: Bleach
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack, F/M, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Multi, Secret Relationship, Seireitei Setting, The Seireitei Birthday Gift Exchange 2020, Truth or Dare, not so secret relationship, truth and dare goes wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:08:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24945892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LethanWolf/pseuds/LethanWolf
Summary: How Ichigo had gotten dragged into this, he had no idea.{{ Crack Seireitei Birthday Fic, about a truth or dare game in the Seireitei that went wrong...}}
Relationships: Abarai Renji/Kuchiki Byakuya, Hitsugaya Toushirou/Matsumoto Rangiku, Kuchiki Rukia/Kurosaki Ichigo
Comments: 7
Kudos: 36
Collections: The Seireitei Server Birthday Gift Exchange 2020





	The 5 Truths & 1 Dare That Led to the Inevitable Outing of 3 "Secret" Couples.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Dev14](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dev14/gifts).



> Crack Seireitei Birthday Fic written for DEV! :D I hope you enjoy it, I hope it has enough CRACK in it for you :D this is my first time writing crack...

How Ichigo had gotten dragged into this, he had _no_ idea.

Well, okay, maybe there had been some sexual favours prompted by his girlfriend and she could be pretty convincing at the best of times without adding “sexy” into her arguments.

Ichigo sat cross legged on the floor of his girlfriend’s office, his knee bouncing in concern and glancing around at all the furniture they’d moved aside to make room for the large number of guests currently on route. The office looked much more open and welcoming, with the desk pushed into the corner and the table tucked away. The two large sofas had been stripped of its various cushions which had been placed in a circle around an empty sake bottle, which sat scintillating, both menacingly and innocently, in the light.

‘Renji is carrying my brother here,’ Rukia’s voice called from the little utility room that was attached to the office. It hosted a small tea making space, and various cupboards which were meant to store the tea, but a lot of souls had adopted as sake hiding spots instead.

‘Carrying?’ Ichigo asked, as Rukia stepped out, fiddling with an earring that Rangiku had given her earlier that day. He’d never understood why women had to do so much to get ready. Rukia looked amazing and could kick ass without trying, but now, with her long black boots and short purple dress, her looks alone could make his heart stop.

‘Apparently he spiked his drink with more than the intended amount,’ Rukia sighed, finally dropping her hands to her side and shaking her head. Her ebony locks had grown again, they now grazed her shoulders and she stooped to gather a few articles of discarded clothing from the floor. ‘Apparently he didn’t take into account that the recommendation was for a normal American male and not a thin Japanese man.’

‘How stupid of him,’ Ichigo said, though he didn’t actually think that. To be honest, Ichigo was sure he’d have made the same mistake as Renji given that he’d never spiked a drink before in his life, but he’d learned very early on in their relationship it was always better to agree with his girlfriend even if he didn’t.

‘Yeah, so he’s dragging him here instead,’ Rukia shrugged.

‘So remind me again why we invited your brother,’ Ichigo asked with a frown. Byakuya hardly seemed like the ideal person to play the game they were about to play.

‘Because I don’t want him to be left out,’ Rukia said it with the air of something incredibly obvious, so Ichigo closed his mouth, retort lost on his tongue.

Over the course of the next fifteen minutes, guests started to arrive. Ikkaku and Yumichika were the first, Yumichika muttering something about lateness being ugly. They were followed by Shuhei, Izuru, a few others that Ichigo didn’t know the name of but Rukia greeted like old friends and then finally Rangiku arrived dragging an incredibly drunk looking Toshiro.

‘Hey Toshiro,’ Ichigo grinned as soon as Rangiku shoved her tiny Captain onto a cushion beside him. Toshiro looked dazed, his cheeks flushed dangerously red and he swayed like he was about to topple over at any minute. He turned to the sound of his name and blinked one eye slowly before the other.

‘S’Cap’n,’ he slurred back and Ichigo just smirked. At least drunk, the tiny angry snowball seemed to retain some of his coherent comebacks.

‘Sure,’ Ichigo laughed, leaning over he slipped his long index finger under the bottom of the Captains new glass of alcohol and proceeded to tip it up and back until Toshiro caught it in his lips.

Rukia caught his gaze from across the room and hid her smirk behind her own drink. They’d been dating for years now and though it was growing quiet serious no one else knew outside of their tight nit group of friends in the world of the living. Chad, Orihime, Uryu, and Tatsuki were the only ones who really knew that Ichigo and Rukia were together and it was only because they showed up to an arcade and found them when Rukia’s tongue had been very far down Ichigo’s throat.

None of the souls in the Seireitei knew. Rukia was worried about the reaction of her brother mostly and Ichigo knew she was aiming for the Captaincy role and didn’t wish to do anything to jeopardise that for her. The little get-together, this game… this _party_ was their way of trying to encourage a more lax and open environment in the soul society.

‘Let’s get this party started!’ Rangiku sung as she sat down on Toshiro’s other side. Ichigo was sure she’d only did it to catch him as the Captain seemed to sway and was heading toward the ground with a look of total confusion before his Lieutenant saved him.

‘How much did you give him?’ Ichigo asked, accepting his glass from Rukia as she walked past him.

‘Enough,’ Rangiku winked at Ichigo and Toshiro blinked blearily up at the ceiling.

‘We’re still waiting for-’ Rukia started.

‘We’re here,’ Renji’s loud voice puffed from the door and at once Shuhei and Ikkaku leapt up to help Renji drag a passed out Byakuya through the threshold.

‘He’s going to fire you,’ Shuhei laughed and Renji just shrugged his shoulders.

‘No he won’t, he needs me,’ he said with an eye roll, but Ichigo was inclined to agree with Shuhei.

Rukia looked mildly concerned for her brother’s safety but after checking he was breathing and performing a quick bit of kido on him, the Captain began to stir. Once satisfied that he wasn’t dying Rukia took her spot in the circle opposite Ichigo and called everyone’s attention to the game at hand.

‘We’re playing a combination of spin the bottle and truth or dare,’ Rukia announced, her lips pulling back in a smirk and her eyes flashing cheekily to Ichigo before flitting away around the room. Sometimes his girlfriend could be a complete tease. ‘Someone spins the bottle and whoever it lands on, that person must pick truth or dare and the spinner will either ask them a question or give them a dare. Seem fair?’

One established that everyone understood the rules, the game commenced. The first couple of truths were moderate, they found out that Shuhei had gone skinny dipping, that Yumichika had singed his own eyebrows off and that Izuru may have had a tiny bit of a crush on Momo in their college days. The information so far, to Ichigo, had been incredibly boring, but the Momo news did seem to stir Toshiro who looked semi coherent for a moment before the haze claimed him once again.

Then things took an incredibly sharp turn.

Renji grasped the bottle and twisted, clearly trying to flex his strength in front of Rangiku and Ichigo rolled his eyes as he prepared for the bottle to spin for a millennia. As it (eventually) drew to a stop, the little glass spout turned its attention toward Rukia, who raised a bored eyebrow Renji’s way and muttered, ‘truth.’

‘Did you steal my lube?’

Ichigo had raised his glass to his lips and regretted it, he choked and spluttered, his own face heating up and he coughed and looked at Rukia with wide eyes. Rukia was entirely relaxed, the perfect little actor in her with years of experience lying in the world of the living, just leaned back and tilted her chin up. Ichigo was sure a smooth lie was going to follow, but the short shit actually told the truth.

‘Yes.’

The hell that followed these words made Ichigo want to crawl into a hole. Rangiku was applauding Rukia and most of the men in the room just looked impressed. Thankfully Byakuya was still half out of it, leaning with his back propped against the sofa and hadn’t properly caught the conversation and Toshiro just blinked innocently at Ichigo and held his empty glass out to him. Glad for something to do, Ichigo took the Captains glass and his own half empty one and turned toward the desk that they’d set up as a temporary bar. Keeping his back to the crowd and pouring the drinks, he was able to keep his heated face out of sight even when Ikkaku did come over for a refill of his glass too.

‘So who’s the lucky man?’ someone asked.

‘Do we know him?’

‘Is it a guy?’

Ichigo felt sick and took a deep breath, pouring a little more alcohol into his own glass and less into Toshiro’s. He was sure the Captain had had enough, but Ichigo definitely needed to get drunk fast. He turned back around and watched his girlfriend rolling her eyes, no heat at all present on her perfect skin.

‘That’s not how this game works,’ she clicked her tongue impatiently, ‘Renji only asked a closed question, I answered, it’s now _my_ turn.’

She reached out and grasped the bottle and gave it a more appropriate spin. The rounds went on, with Rukia daring Yumichika to draw a face on Ikkaku’s head, Yumichika daring Shuhei to sit topless and Shuhei pulling Ikkaku’s most embarrassing moment from him. Turns out he’d suffered worse than what had befallen him in the world of the living. He’d had all his clothes stolen in the barracks and had to walk back home naked.

Only when Ikkaku grabbed the bottle to spin and it landed on Renji did things get interesting again.

‘What did you need the lube for?’ he asked. Renji’s face paled. Rukia, ever astute, spotted the way that Renji’s eyes flickered to the sofa for just a second before turning away.

‘Why did you look at my brother?’ she asked loudly. That then prompted colour to begin to flourish in Renji’s face and the entire room started shouting. Ichigo could barely decipher one word from the other as Byakuya drunkenly started to work out what was happening.

‘It’s not like that!’ Renji was shouting, but the fact his face was now the same colour as his hair was telling everyone in the room everything they needed to know.

‘Who’s the bottom?’

‘Who wears the hakama’s?’

‘Is it just sex?’

Ichigo met Rukia’s gaze. His girlfriend’s expression had turned murderous. The slackening of her jaw, the slight narrowing of her eyes, the way her teeth worried her bottom lip between them. Ichigo knew that look well, it was a look he’d only seen from his girlfriend when he was in serious trouble. Raising a glass to his lips and pretending not to care, Ichigo turned to Toshiro while everyone shouted about the fact that Renji had sex with his Captain.

‘What do you think of all this,’ Ichigo asked him. The diminutive Captain sighed into his glass, he seemed to have sobered up a tiny bit between all the rounds.

‘Knew about it ages ago,’ his voice was still slurred, the effects of alcohol still evident in the way his vowels pulled.

‘Really?’ Ichigo asked raising an eyebrow and Toshiro nodded slowly.

‘Yes, I heard them talking indiscreetly after a Captain’s meeting one day. Lieutenant Abari was being loud, as usual, and Captain Kuchiki was trying to shush him.’

‘And you didn’t tell anyone?’ Ichigo asked shocked. Even he didn’t care for gossip but would have told someone, probably Rukia.

Toshiro shrugged his shoulders, ‘I am not into gossip, Kurosaki.’

‘How many times have I gotta tell you to call me Ichigo?’ he huffed back at the smaller male. There was a slight tug at Toshiro’s lips but he chose not to respond. Things began to settle down as Renji hastily took the game forward, but Ichigo could see that his girlfriend’s posture remained rigid and that it took her a few more rounds to settle back down from the shock that the last truth had revealed.

Finally Rangiku spun the bottle after being dared to drink a combination of everyone else’s drinks. When the front of the bottle slowed and landed on Rukia, Ichigo could physically feel himself getting sick. He tried to telepathically tell his girlfriend to pick a dare, but alas.

‘Truth,’ she said, stirring her drink with her straw and looking bored by the whole ordeal.

‘What did _you_ need the lube for?’ Rangiku asked and everyone in the room shushed to listen, as if only just remembering that Rukia had indeed stole it over the whole Renji and Byakuya ordeal. Rukia still continued to stir her drink, not fazed by the question at all.

‘To inconvenience Renji of course,’ she said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Ichigo was thanking every god he knew that his girlfriend had lied. He’d been concerned, given that she’d told the truth the first time around, that she thought you did actually have to tell the truth in this game. That was the rules of course, but no one ever told the truth 100% of the time during truth and dare, they always made shit up, either to make themselves seem more impressive than they actually were or to hide the secrets they wished to keep.

Rangiku deflated at her answer and Ichigo was pleased that the taller woman seemed to have bought his girlfriend’s lie.

Without going too quick, Rukia reached out and spun the bottle. She dared Ichigo to flash the bruise on his ass, much to her own amusement and Ichigo’s mortification (he still wasn’t drunk enough for this shit!) and the game continued. Shuhei was dared to eat a live cricket that Ikkaku pulled from nowhere, Toshiro was dared to sing the Japanese national anthem and once Byakuya finally came around he was dared to sit on Renji’s lap which he blatantly, refused to do.

Instead the Captain reached out, spun the bottle and watched it land on Matsumoto. The busty blonde leaned forward eagerly after announcing that she wanted a truth this time and waited for Byakuya to deliver.

‘What on earth did you do to Captain Hitsugaya to get him here?’ Byakuya asked, rubbing his own temples and clearly trying to prevent the onset of an early, and severe, hangover.

‘Easy,’ Rangiku flipped her long strawberry blonde hair from her face, ‘I convinced him with sexual favours and then got him drunk.’

‘RANGIKU!’ Toshiro had tried to shush the woman but it was too late, the damage had been done. A silence beat around the room before everyone erupted in laughter. Some people, Ikkaku and Renji, didn’t believe her. Ichigo looked at her though, and he knew she was telling the truth. Toshiro’s face had fallen into his hands, completely red from his neck to the tips of his cute little ears and Ichigo laughed down at him.

‘Nice one!’ he clapped the Captain on his back and listened to him hiss, like an angry little kitten.

‘Wait you can’t be serious?’

‘No way!’

‘WHY?’

Rangiku fired some of them very dirty looks and it seemed to shush a few of the men down, ‘I can sleep with who I want, when I want,’ she shrugged, ‘we’ve been dating for the last ten years.’

‘Ten!’

‘TEN!’

‘Ten!?’

Ichigo was in complete shock, as Toshiro continued to moan drunkenly into his own hands, Rangiku seemed to be soaking up the attention. Ichigo’s gaze flickered between the two of them, the height difference… was… did he… did he have to climb her? How did that even work?

Ichigo made eye-contact with Rukia across the room and the girl laughed into her drink, her thoughts clearly spiralling into a very similar space. She wriggled her brows at Ichigo suggestively and he felt desire pool in his abdomen. Rukia had the most adverse effects on his body, and she knew it too. She had him wrapped entirely around her little finger and he very much enjoyed being there. Catching onto the way his gaze must have turned predatory, Rukia just smirked down into her drink. How she managed to look cute and innocent while laying out _those_ plans for their evening, was beyond him.

‘I think it’s my turn isn’t it?’ Rangiku twisted the glass bottle, ignoring the jabs and jeers of her fellow officers and Ichigo watched with horror as the bottle came to grinding halt on him.

_Fuck._

He made eye contact with the busty Lieutenant and her eyes raked over his clothed torso.

‘Someone’s going to be shedding some clothes,’ she giggled and Ichigo quickly deflected.

‘Truth,’ he said.

Like hell was he going to be stripping down in front of a room full of friends and strangers. He’d already had to show them his ass! That was enough embarrassment for one day. Ichigo heard his girlfriend’s disappointed sigh from across the room and watched as the smirk on Rangiku’s face stretched wider and realised…

He’d been tricked.

Rangiku had wanted him to pick truth.

_Double fuck._

Women were scheming, conniving little demons, he concluded.

Ichigo felt a little hand placed comfortingly on his arm and glanced down to see Toshiro touching him, his jaded eyes full of remorse for the damage his girlfriend was about to induce.

‘Ichigo,’ Rangiku purred and he glanced back at the demon in question. The entire room seemed to be holding its breath, waiting for the busty Lieutenant to drop what she so desperately wanted to ask.

‘Have you ever seen Rukia naked?’

Above Byakuya’s spluttered gasp, Ichigo could hear the collective intake of breaths around the room. As soon as the two words ‘Rukia’ and ‘naked’ were said together though, Ichigo couldn’t help it, he pictured it. His girlfriend who had been naked and spread out before him just that very morning, calling his name and gripping at the covers as he drove into her.

His face answered for him. Much the same way Renji’s had given him away.

The heat that pooled in his stomach climbed up his neck and out along his face, spreading scarlet under his skin. The entire room seemed too warm regardless of the fact he was sitting next to the Captain of ice.

‘OH MY GOD!’

‘NO WAY!’

‘Lucky guy…’

‘When?’

Rangiku looked like the cat that had the cream, lapping at her lips and twitching her whiskers as she dared Ichigo with her eyes to deny what was incredibly obvious to everyone else in the room.

‘Fuck,’ he answered instead, his own face collapsing into his hands just like Toshiro’s had done moments before.

He could feel a small cold hand soothing at his back and the coolness it seemed to radiate in a bid to alleviate some of Ichigo’s flushed embarrassment. He’d never been so thankful in all his life to gain the friendship of the frosty prince.

‘Well they were living together for ages, Rukia stayed in his cupboard, I imagine they saw each other naked a lot,’ it had been Renji and was clearly meant to deflect the topic.

‘I’m going to take a guess and say that they’ve slept together,’ Shuhei whispered to someone and Ichigo tried his best to shake his head. When he finally gathered enough strength to look at the room it was to see Rukia looking entirely unconcerned as her brother shot him murderous looks.

‘So what does she look like naked?’ some random officer asked. The ice hit him before the sakura petals did, the combination of the two presenting in a rather vivid ice centrepiece for their room. Everyone collectively laughed and Ichigo was glad he didn’t have to answer the question. What would he have said?

Like a goddess?

Like an ice princess?

Like nothing I’ve ever seen before in my life?

He’d have his man card revoked and be cast from the Seireitei in a second. Instead Ichigo reached forward, spun the bottle and got to dare Shuhei to take the ice sculpture officer out of the room and pee on him.

It made plenty of people laugh and Shuhei accepted it with a soft shrug of his shoulders, ‘I needed to take a piss anyway.’

Ichigo was allowed to get his own back on the guy for asking for those details right? Rukia was his girlfriend and no one else deserved to know what she looked like naked, except him.

The game continued. The bottle, thankfully, did not land on either Rukia or Ichigo for anyone to ask them a follow-up or clarifying question to the earlier one. Judging by the bounce in Rangiku’s leg, Ichigo could tell that this was bothering the gossip queen.

After Yumichika dared Ikkaku to set one of Kenpatchi’s hair spikes on fire as he slept that night, the bottle was spun and landed on Rukia. Ichigo let out the breath he’d been holding, if it were to land on anyone, he was glad it chose Rukia and not him. He was terrible at lying and hiding his emotions but Rukia was actually really good at it. His stunning girlfriend, put her drink down, leaning back so that her long slender neck was on show, tempting him, and raised a challenging eyebrow at Ikkaku.

‘Dare.’

Ikkaku narrowed his eyes, clearly he’d been wanting her to pick truth too so he could ask the burning questions around the room. Had they had sex? Was it more than just seeing each other naked? What was their relationship? It took the man a few moments to think of a dare.

‘I dare you to kiss Ichigo,’ he said and the room started whooping and cheering. Ichigo could feel the heat in his face again and Toshiro’s empathetic gaze boring into the side of his face, trying to send him strength.

‘Fine,’ Rukia clicked her tongue impatiently again, like this was a mundane dare and that she expected better of Ikkaku. It was such a convincing performance that even Ichigo bought it. She pulled herself to her feet gracefully, for someone who had consumed so much alcohol, and made her way over to Ichigo.

The substitute had _no_ idea what to do. He didn’t know how to respond to this situation. Thankfully Rukia was the dominant one of the two of them and she slipped onto his lap. Following her lead, Ichigo wrapped his arms around her, feeling the way her dainty waist moulded to his touch. Looking as awkward as he felt, Rukia reached her hand around the back of his head and tugged him down into a kiss. He let her take the lead, hoping his awkwardness would throw off anyone thinking that they’d done this before.

As soon as their lips connected, the room started cheering and clapping. Ichigo felt the heat of Rukia through the thin fabric of her dress and the heat of her legs straddling his own. It was creating all kinds of involuntary reactions to his body and he couldn’t help but melt uselessly against her. His body moved on instinct, the way it always did when he held her in his lap. Ichigo felt her fingers threading more into his hair, causing him to gasp into their kiss and Rukia took full advantage of the moment to explore his mouth. The room seemed to melt away into the background and suddenly it was just him and Rukia, alone. The feel of her and the taste of her was so familiar now that he couldn’t help but groan into the kiss as she pulled back and bit softly onto his bottom lip. Rukia didn’t pull away entirely though, clearly too caught up in the show as she pushed herself entirely back up against him and he felt his own body catch her. His hand splayed between her two shoulder blades and he leaned forward so that her weight was relying entirely on his hands and arms to stop herself from falling back.

The kiss was deepening and Ichigo could feel himself becoming hard, the heat from all his embarrassment rushing down between his legs. As if sensing this, Rukia ground down into him and he moaned into her mouth.

The spell was only broken when Rukia checked herself and pulled back, the two of them breaking apart and time sped back up. Ichigo could hear the calls and chants around the room, he could hear the wolf whistles and he could feel everyone’s smug gazes on them.

But his eyes were only for Rukia and how he’d never seen anything so beautiful in all his life.

Her cheeks were a little flushed, she was panting, and the black of her eyes were blown, the purple almost lost in her gaze. Her red lips glittered tantalisingly and Ichigo desperately wanted to swoop back down and capture them again, alas, he managed some sliver of self-control. 

‘You two have totally done that before,’ Rangiku was laughing from close by and neither Rukia or Ichigo corrected her.

Rukia decided she was happy on Ichigo’s lap and turned carefully so as to not hurt him, Ichigo was grateful, his girlfriend was shielding what would be a very _obvious_ problem.

‘You two have totally had sex,’ Rangiku laughed and when neither of them denied it, the whole room started cheering again.

Overall it was a mess. Not only were three secret relationships now ruined. Byakuya’s call that ‘nothing leave the room’ was useless because they all knew that Rangiku and Shuhei had been present.

And sure enough, the very next day, every single one of them were outed in the Seireitei magazine.

Ichigo had made the decision never to drink, nor play truth or dare with them again. It honestly wasn’t worth the stress.

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully you enjoyed it, if you're new to my writing feel free to explore. I've wrote some other IchiRuki, HitsuRuki, HitsuMatsu pairings before :D 
> 
> And feel free to join our discord family, that's where these fics originally came from anyway :D   
> Here you go: discord.gg/drgmaf8


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